Flash Fiction (1) Stormy

Boardwalk

(Prompt courtesy of L.S. Engler)

Rules (as per L.S. Engler (see above for link)) write a short blurb, about five minutes or so, to accompany the picture above. Then, from there, do with it as you will. Who knows?

Grey clouds were coming.  She could see it, but she would have known with her eyes closed.  The birds were quiet; hushed is the word she used to describe them. It felt, to her, they had simultaneously inhaled and were now waiting to exhale.  And she could feel the pressure building as the birds held their breath.  It weighed on her shoulders making her shawl feel heavy.  She pulled the shawl closer as the air took a chillier tone.

She turned around and with one last glance over her shoulder hurried back home.  If she was quick enough she would be back before it started to rain; if she was lucky enough she would be back before her mom knew she had left.  Yes, grey clouds were coming, and she knew it even though she had turned her back to them.

Oh yeah, please leave me some feedback.  I’m writing this to become a better writer, so if you see something you would change or improve upon please please please let me know.  Thanks!

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4 thoughts on “Flash Fiction (1) Stormy

  1. the only thing i can think of is that it sounds a bit too melodramatic, but depending on the tone of the book or what you’re writing that might be what you’re aiming for. so it’s hard to give feedback on just a short blurb. sorry!

  2. It has a lot of feeling to it and the meaning is there, but not clear. Description side, its very good. Over all… not bad.

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